tired of my surgical wires.
tired of not chewing.
tired of being puffy.
tired of not having feeling in parts of my face.
tired of my nose hurting.
tired of the rough spots on my cheeks and lips from all the metal and swelling.
tired of my constant glossy skin.
tired of having my jaws closed for the majority of the day.
tired of sleeping on my side. doctor said that i can't sleep on my side until eight weeks. aggh. two more weeks. two more very long weeks.
rough day. just sayin'
but with all that being said - i am still very happy i did the surgery. i know i still have a long road filled with obstacles. but damn... i've come a long way. everyday i feel a little more numbness and swelling going away. baby steps i keep saying. baby steps. hey- at least i have been able to stop using sippy cups and baby spoons. yay!
tomorrow is my six-week post-surgery anniversary. i will video myself again reading about the dog. :) i will also try to post up before and after pictures from day one to now. should be interesting.
but never tired of apple sauce. especially strawberry apple sauce. :)
i had my girlfriends over for dinner and movie night. it was nice. i made lasagna and green beans. i bought a super yummy chocolate silk pie with whipped cream topping. i was able to eat everything after cutting it up in tiny pieces... except the cookie crust on the pie. that made me a little sad. i know, pathetic. but i just know how much better the pie would have been if i had some of the crunchy goodness of a cookie crust. some day soon...
ok, no more food talk for today. how about tongue and teeth talk? i noticed the past couple of days that i have a little sore on my tongue. like it keeps getting cut on something. well i examined my mouth. low and behold i have a new gap between two of my bottom teeth. WOW. that is something very new. i guess the bands have pulled the teeth around. hopefully my orthodontist can shed some light on this new little find.
also - i have loaded up every un-used surgical hook with the braces wax. the bumps have been healing a bit. i removed the was yesterday for awhile to brush and the eat the lasagna. in just the few hours that i had no wax my lips became irritated again.
so i suggest to anyone and everyone that has these darn surgical hooks to just wax up and stay waxed up. it sucks to have additional stuff in your mouth competing with your lips and cheeks, but damn. i can totally tell a difference in the pain level of said lips and cheeks. it looks a little odd to have the clear lumps also... but who the heck cares?? i have chipmunk cheeks. a little extra weirdness in my mouth is the least of my worries. :)
i received an explanation of benefits notice from my insurance today in the mail. it only references the actual hospital visit, not the surgeon or anesthesiologist fees. but man, i am super happy to have health insurance. just sayin.
also - highlight of my day... went to see cyndi lauper perform on her she's so unusual anniversary tour. i would have given anything to be able to whistle, scream and cheer like a normal person. i did do some serious singing along. once again i had a super sore mouth and my cheeks felt like they were on fire by the time i settled in for bed.
not much to report today. we had a department lunch at work. i managed to eat the chicken pasta and a brownie. it's amazing what you can eat when you spend a million minutes cutting it up into a million little pieces. someone laughed and pointed out the fact to the entire group that i was crumbling my brownie all up to eat it. i was a bit snarky back to her.
geez. she is clueless. i was out for two weeks. then when returned i was definitely not my normal self. and to top it off... i know she has seen me with my sippy cup. but oh well.
SWELL MICHELLE IS IN THE HOUSE!!quick, but important post today - i returned to radio lollipop tonight. this is a huge step to having my "normal" life back. every day it seems something new happens. but tonight... everything felt right. i returned to radio lollipop. i have seriously missed volunteering. it was a little tough. but i was lucky, none of the kids pointed or laughed at me talking with my bands in. ironically the craft for the night was pizza and the theme of the night was junk food. WTH?? what kind of luck is that? we had to talk about eating all sorts of junk food and favorite toppings for pizza. haha
i forgot to take pictures yesterday. so here are some from this morning. i can really start to see the different shape to my face. i need to dig up the pictures from when we started all of this. i will try to get them and post up next week for a 6-week comparison. should be interesting.
in medical news - i've been in some pain lately. things are really starting to wake up. and every time i take my bands off i think it alerts muscles and nerves to start waking up. so i have been having that damn tingling sensation. it comes and goes and all over in patches. joy. then i put my bands back on and it settles back down to normal. i hate to admit it, but i feel safer with my bands in. weird, i know. but oh well.
in food news today... i ate a peppermint patty today. yes, i cut it up in a million little pieces and it took me a lifetime to get thru it. but yum. i think i will have another one tomorrow.
in other food news, i've been craving chicken salad. so i made a big bowl of it. i ate a ton of it for lunch. no bread or buttery/salty crackers... just shoveled it in with my baby spoon. quite delectable.
can't believe it's been five weeks. i really have been fortunate with my surgery i think. i really haven't had any extremely low moments and really no complications. now, don't get me wrong there were a couple days/nights those first couple of weeks that i really second guessed my choice of having this surgery. but i feel i have come a long way.
i am excited about the next few weeks and learning to chew again. talking without the bands has been an adventure. my jaw seems a little confused and lost in it's motions. but i am sure it will be fine with time.
my teeth touch in ways that they have never touched before. that feels weird in so many ways. you know how the edges of your tongue kinda has a specific shape that over time has confirmed to the spaces between your teeth. well, now those areas have changed. so even the sides of my tongue feels weird. i wish i could explain the odd feelings that are happening inside my mouth, all around my nose and my puffy, somewhat numb cheeks.
i celebrated with some fish and rice for lunch. it was super easy to eat so i was happy. yummy lemon fish.
in other news... the lovely lips bumps are extra painful today. joy. happy five weeks to me!!
sunday funday! the day started with a trip down to Galveston. we went to a champagne brunch at one of the bigger hotels on the beach. i took my bands out and ate as much as i could. it felt good. i was a little worried about eating that much without chewing any of it. my poor little stomach. but it's probably a good thing that eating what i did took for so long and was so tiring. haha i would have eaten a ton more. then we headed over to the beach for a few hours. we sat and listened to the waves and had a great time. it was so relaxing to just sit on the beach. there was a breeze so it wasn't too hot. and we had a cooler packed with the essentials... water and champagne.
sunday funday continued after i got home and showered. i passed out on the couch. i fell asleep. the only thing that sucked about the day was that i woke up on my side all snuggled up with the pillow. my cheek didn't like that so much. i really have pushed it this weekend. time to leave the bands on for a long while and let everything rest.
tonight was a big night. i went to a belated birthday dinner for a friend. i had the pleasure of mowing thru a big bowl of blue cheese risotto. man, that was yummy. it was way filling. then i followed it up with a great dessert. it was a special goat cheese - cheese cake with blueberry sauce and a little lemon/vanilla cream. oh my. i had to leave the crust alone. that was a little too rough to swallow with out chewing. but everything else was great!
i then headed over to a little bar/concert hall to see one of my favorite musicians play. once again i realized that clapping was hard/weird. i may have over done it a bit also with the singing along and yelling. i also encountered the challenge of double straws. haha that was a little hard, but i made due. i was sore sore and puffy by the time i got to bed.
all i can say is that i was super duper happy about my lunch today. i went out with a couple co-workers. i can't tell you how thrilled i was to be able to figure something out on the menu.
egg drop soup... yum
i really wanted sesame chicken. can't chew, so i opted for a side of rice and a little sesame sauce. of course when i asked for it i think i confused the waiter. he brought the equivalent of a cup of soup serving of the sauce. i ate it like a champ. a bit messy and my mouth was sticky when i was done. but man, i was one happy chick.
and yes, i know... more food pictures. but it's the little things nowadays!!
i can't explain how bored i am of drinking my food. how bored i am liquid and super mushy food. this morning i was feeling a little defeated. so i decided to try something a bit daring. i am very happy about being able to take my bands off to "eat" with a spoon. i thought i would go and pick up a baked potato. i thought that i could just mash it up a bunch and shovel it in. well... let me tell you. i have never been so happy when it comes to lunch. i felt "normal" again. the potato was loaded with cheese, butter and BBQ sauce. i normally get this with grilled chicken. but no meat today. i am sure that will come later. but for now, this was heaven. i only choked a little bit on a bit that i didn't quite mash up enough. this whole no-chewing thing is tough. my poor little stomach has to do all the work.
oh and i realized something today.
BOOGERS ARE BAD!!
i have been feeling really run down lately. it's official. i have a bit of a cold. i have a little fever, boogers and a sore throat. needless to say that this absolutely sucks. as if my nose isn't already jacked up. now i have to add boogers. and as if my swallowing abilities are not up to par - add in a sore throat with some nasal drainage. OK, i know - TMI. just thought i'd share. i guess i should look on the bright side. i am having this said cold now, now a couple weeks ago.
So tonight was interesting. i went to an Astros game with my brother, sister-in-law and my nephew. i've been to about a million baseball games. but, there were a lot of things that were different about going to a game four weeks after major jaw surgery. Let's see... i had to battle a drink with a straw. i tried a straw the other day but gave up because it was just too hard and weird.
it is so strange to drink thru a straw. there are still parts of my lip and cheeks that are numb. not to mention the puffy spots that are still a little swollen. so when you factor that all in... the muscles that force your lips to close tightly around a straw don't really play along. i realized that if i use the straw in the corner of my mouth where it's less numb i can be somewhat successful. and on top of all of that i still have my bands in. so the whole sucking in thru your closed teeth tends to be challenging. but all in all i managed. it was pretty exciting. baby steps i say. baby steps. and i will take every one that lies ahead.
then when it came time to eat something i was a little sad. no chicken strips and fries for me. :( my nephew got cheese fries. i took my bands out for a bit and "helped" him eat it all. basically i just kept dipping my fork in the gooey goodness and then licking it off. i have pretty much have given up having proper eating/drinking manners lately. in my little post-surgery world licking cheese off a fork over and over again is perfectly acceptable. haha and for the record it was the yummiest cheese ever. EVER!
in other weird things... clapping over and over again doesn't feel too good. and i can't whistle. i have mastered whistling in my years of baseball games. but no such luck tonight. not a chance. i have a feeling i should start practicing that. since my jaws are in a different alignment it might be hard. crossing my fingers i get my whistling awesomeness back soon.
i don't have much to report today. just some more exciting stuff like baby spoons and opening my mouth. i'm getting super bored of soups and ensure milky drinks. so for lunch today i had turkey chili without beans. i blended it up this morning to make sure the chunks were pretty small. i sat at my desk at work and ate it all. it was incredibly messy. i went through a ton of napkins. but i was so thrilled to be using utensils instead of a sippy cup or a bottle with a rubber tip. i just wish o could feel my upper lip. or at least control it better. but oh well. baby steps i suppose.
i did manage to eat a piece of chocolate for the first time since surgery. i was so excited to try this since i can open my mouth for brief periods of time now. well... it didn't go all well as i had hoped. it took about 15 minutes to get thru that damn thing. i can't chew so technically it should just melt in my mouth. well, dark chocolate didn't melt like that. i couldn't really roll it around in my mouth to help it dissolve because the roof of my mouth it still numb. and it felt just too weird. all-in-all i learned my lesson. i must wait until my roof isn't numb. counting the days. really.
here's today's funny. i was cleaning out my purse and came across this little coupon that i received the last time i was shopping at Kroger. i guess i'm some sort of frequent buyer of soups. haha! no, thank you Campbell's!!
and last on my spoon eating frenzy today... ice cream with caramel sauce. great way to end the big day. i cleaned my face and lip up then had to put the bands back on their hooks. and just like that... tension and pain. bam.
first of all... i had my favorite tomato basil soup. strained of course. oh so yummy!!
and here's my four-week talking video. pretty exciting!
I had my four-week follow up appointment with the surgeon today. man, i was nervous as usual. i really didn't know what to expect.
he came in and asked me to open my mouth. i had my bands in, so it was pretty pathetic. i think he actually laughed at me. he asked me to do it again. i freaked out and he asked me why.
well. i feel like my jaw is going to pop out of place or my teeth are going to fly out. i know they aren't. but i just am a little scared.
he promptly took the bands out and we tried it again. he was more pleased. then he looked all around my mouth which wasn't pleasant. then the kicker happened. he put his thumb on the roof of my mouth and his fingers around the front of my upper teeth. he then moved it all around using lots of pressure. it felt like he was seeing if there was any movement where the bone was cut. i nearly lost it. i have never sweat so much at a doctor's appointment. it was the longest few minutes of my life. LONGEST EVER!
then i asked all the questions i need to ask at this point and let him know some things:
- he asked about my ortho visit and bands: told him i saw ortho last tues. got new bands and was told to change every two days. told him i changed bands late thursday night and yesterday afternoon
- working out? i can do light elliptical or light bike on trainer. no jogging. No hills or sprints.
- same food - no chewing still. i can start to chew soft stuff at six weeks, like soft pasta and flaky fish
- sleeping on side? need to do that at least eight weeks (BOO!!)
- blood still in nose ok? yes. it is fine
- still real sore around nose and upper lip. it's ok
- swelling and numbness. still ok
other notes and to-do from surgeon:
- wear bands majority of day plus at night
- work on stretching and talking homework so muscles and such don't continue to get fatigued
- see him two weeks, same day as ortho ok
- teeth need to be trained. Bands will do that.
- teeth fit very well right now but still need to be reminded where they need to be
- bands are like training wheels
i was so excited when i got home i ate pasta with a spoon! and when i say "ate" i mean i blend up the pasta lightly with my little ninja. then i used my baby spoon to shovel it in. very slowly and very messy. but yea!! no chewing sucks. but one day at a time.
today was interesting. i went to the theater with the gals. it was super fun. we went and saw Flash Dance at the Hobby Center. It was a great show. i noticed that clapping isn't so great though. i could totally feel the vibrating and pounding in my cheeks and jaw while i was clapping like crazy at the end when they were showing all the performers. it's so weird how little things like clapping are different and sometimes painful. add this one to the books.
then we went out to eat. ok they went to eat. i went and tried to eat some mashed potatoes. couldn't really do it. i was hoping that i could slurp it up between my front teeth since i'm still banded. no such luck. i did bring it home. i added some broth, warmed it up and ate it all. yummy.
and it was another night to change the bands... like a BOSS. white ones are the old ones and the yellow ones are new. new and ready to cause some pain.
oh yea!! happy hour time. it was my best friend's birthday yesterday. so we decided to meet up for a little happy hour action after work. how exciting! i drank out of a wine glass in public. i kept my napkin handy, very handy. it's hard seeing all the yummy food around, but i know soon ill be able to eat it right up.
i ordered a variety plate of gelato. yummy! messy and sticky... but yummy!
i then went and hung out with my pals. it was real nice. i sort of felt like old self. had a few glasses of wine and had some great conversation. yay!
someone asked me how i eat. so i thought i would just snap some pictures during the day to show how much fun eating/drinking is with bands.
it all starts with a can of soup. i tend to pick the ones with the more broth, less creamy.
blend it up big time. liquefy it like crazy. then you need to strain it. all those little chunks can't get thru your teeth. plus any big flakes of spice and such get stuck in your teeth. it's just easier to strain it before you eat it.
then i pack everything up to carry to work. blended soup, my bottle with the tip that is more open. i also packed some blended carrots for this day. yay!
i keep these items at work in the kitchen. very important... glass bowl, spoon, spatula and a funnel. i just wash everything out after i use it. so i warm the soup up in the bowl.
then i put the bottle in the sink. (in case it spills, it's nice to make the mess in the sink haha) place the funnel in the bottle and pout the hot soup right in. wash it all up then store it away in a drawer for the next day.saves me from having to carry it back and forth everyday.
i have a smaller bottle that i use for my snacks. i just switch out the rubber tip. yummy carrots!!
today was a long day. i decided i needed some afternoon coffee. i thought that today is the day to try drinking out of a starbucks cup. man, it was a little hard. can't really feel my upper lip. so it was a little messy. but i did it! yay.
Thursday night means bands change night, oh my. here we go. i took pictures of how the bands are on so i would know how to put them back. i was able to change them after much anxiety. it was hard. i can't hold my lip up by itself. so one hand was doing that and the other was taking off and putting on the bands.
here are the little
bad boys... they look pretty non-threatening. but don't believe them. they are mean little boogers. mean mean little boogers!
look! i opened my mouth. whoo hoo. it actually hurt a little. it was incredibly weird, which i think heightened the "pain" i suppose. i was able to brush the inside of my mouth. although that was a little odd as well. i started using my big girl toothbrush because i was all excited. so i loaded it up with paste and brushed the outside of my teeth. i went to open... and nope. couldn't enough. so yep, baby tooth brush had to finish the job. i had toothpaste and spit all over the place. i can't feel the roof of my mouth and near the front of my teeth. so i realized that i couldn't tell if i was brushing my teeth or my gums. i quickly brushed my tongue and got the hell out. at that point i was completely weirded out. i can't explain how odd it felt.
i put the bands back on slowly. it was a big night!
just gonna list the weird and funny things that happened today...
1) i sneezed for the first time. man that was weird. stuff came out my nose and a little slobber cam out of my mouth. i left my lips open because i knew there would be pressure in there. glad i did. it helped.
2) i upgraded myself to a sippy cup for my morning coffee. i'm such a big girl now. my lips can't really get around it well. but it's better than the bottle with rubber tip.
3) i also tried drinking soda from bottle. that worked pretty well. i have to keep wiping my mouth after i drink. no matter what i drink it out of. basically there is dribble at the corners of my mouth. i suspect that will happen until i can feel everything and it isn't swollen. we will see.
4) i was "brushing" my teeth at work after lunch. of course i was having issue spitting in the sink. i still just tip my head over and blow. it all drools and flows out. pretty exciting. well, i was in there doing my thing and a lady came out of a stall. she walked over to the sink next to me. she washed her hands then promptly spit in the sink. WTF! was she showing off? what a B. who does that? she works in a different department, so i don't know her. but really made me laugh.
5) i made pasta again. it was yummy. blended happiness.
so, today was pretty exciting. i worked all day while worrying what the hell was going to happen at my orthodontist appointment. i left work a little late due to some calls running long. so i hurried over there. i was a bit frazzled when i finally arrived.
but as always i was greeted with a smile. all the ladies there were genuinely excited to see me and to hear how the surgery went. they rock... for lack of a better phrase. i would recommend them to anyone needing braces and such.
at any rate i sat down in my chair and was greeted by my doc. i spoke to her a bit while she was looking over another patient, a young girl. the girl asked me what i had done. i kinda laughed and said that i had jaw surgery. she seemed puzzled then asked how i ate. i told her very carefully thru a little rubber tipped bottle. she was pretty interested. then the doc told her to tell me about her surgery. WHAT!! she is so young. they then told me she had a cleft palate. i said wow and told her how much stronger she is then me. then we shared a "braces are cool" moment. i practically high fived her.
ironically, the bands are called "tortoise" haha
i collect turtles and my mom raises them. so
i took it as a good sign.
then the fun began. doc checked me out and said she was very pleased on how things looked. she said she was excited to get the bands off and start tweaking the teeth. she asked me if the surgeon had changed my bands, or is having me change them. i said, "oh hell no." then she said she wants to change them. she explained how over time the bands loose their strength and need to be replaced. she then gave me a bag of bands to use.
i guess i looked a little like a deer in the headlights. she asked me if i wanted her to change them. i promptly said, "oh hell yes!" so she did. it was so weird. she took them off and for a minute i was not banded shut. i was so afraid i didn't even open my mouth. haha.
then she put the new ones on. and then the tension was right back to where i began. OUCH!! i could totally tell the difference. wow. she told me to change them every two days until i don't have to wear them anymore. joy. that should be fun.
that was pretty much it. i worried all day for nothing.
i'm such a baby. :)
and yes, it was a vicodin and oragel kind of night.
well, i had a rough morning. i woke up on my side. you are not supposed to do that. my awake brain knows to sleep on my back. my sleeping brain says "what the hell, turn on your side. it's more comfortable." then i wake up... and my awake brain says - "that hurt like hell."
i wish they could get on the same page. took a little longer to get out of bed.
today marks three weeks. yay!! can't believe it. my mouth still hurts like hell. i'm still swollen and numb. my lips and cheeks are mince meat. but i can tell an improvement over all for sure.
i used my water pic for the first time. not sure if i am officially cleared to use it. but i did. turned it on the lowest setting and was really careful. it felt great afterwards. everything felt clean.
in other news - it's my mom's birthday today. so we took her to an Italian place for some pasta and such. i couldn't eat it. boo.but i did take itsy-bitsy pieces of the bread stick and dip them in the salad dressing. i then shoved them in like i was taking a pill. was nice. it was great having a different taste in my mouth then potatoes or soup. i ordered mashed potatoes, but couldn't really eat them. i tried using a baby spoon. but i couldn't coordinate my mouth opening so slightly at the right time to shove it in. i gave up.
we then walked over for ice cream. that i made work :) i ordered a kiddie size. i asked the lady to put it in the microwave for a bit to soften it up for me. BINGO!! and the best part - i used one of the tasting spoons to "eat" it with.
i basically held out my bottom lip and poured it in. then after a little slurping and drooling i managed to get some in my mouth and between my closed teeth. heaven i tell you!! mom helped keep the ice cream off my face. i was a mess.
some more face/lip photos..
not sure what the hell my hair is doing. looks like I stuck my finger in a light socket. haha and you can see a grey hair perfectly on one of the side views.
tonight's mince meat pictures show the odd things my lip is doing. lumps of sore flesh everywhere. perfectly in line with the brackets and such. so weird. some days it's puffier and more tender than others.
i was a mess, but you know what - i really didn't give a shit. the ice cream was awesome.
spending time and having fun with the family was perfect!
